Proletarian Ding Dong Democracy Statement On Margaret Thatcher Death Panto

pd william harry thatcher

The Funeral Cortege Passes (L-R) Princes William And Harry, And Some Women

Comrades,

Phew! Needless to say, it’s been a busy, (but highly entertaining!) week for Proletarian Democracy, our external, semi-permanent, fully permanent, and internationally allied factions, and all other associated tendencies. The definitive analysis of the last week’s events will be available in the next footnote packed issue of our journal Worker’s Girder but until then we ask that the working class remain patient and make do with this short statement.

Victory to the brave and disciplined Proletarian Democracy cadres who have led the celebrations of *billy-no-mates reactionary totem and self-styled queen of scabs Margaret Thatcher’s long awaited death throughout England, Scotland, Wales, and The Occupied 6 Counties!

For all to see, your jubilant example was rapidly picked up by a multitude of working class voices and beamed around the globe via the stunned bourgeois media. Voices so long ignored, distorted or dismissed by reformist ‘leaders’, toytown revolutionaries and Billy Bragg were finally raised in damning union with our dear comrades.

Not even the deployment of a ragtag force of bored but baton-happy police and a panicked tory press sponsored militia of cowardly delinquents disguised as Millwall FC fans could dissuade thousands of revellers from keeping their sacred promise to attend Trafalgar Square on the Saturday after the big day.

Once again, Proletarian Democracy demonstrates that its claim to be the sole pole of attraction for the most advanced elements of the class is no idle boast; not only does Proletarian Democracy bring together in a fist the best fighters for the working class, it also hones the latest and sharpest instruments for the class war.

And we know how to party.

Apologies to anyone who found themselves being semi-surreptitiously photographed and answering unusual questions. In the interests of revolutionary discipline and internal security, we were forced to make a list of those suspected of failing to revel with sufficient gusto.

Finally, comrades barely need to be reminded to pause for a few moments of silent reflection in memory of the casualties sustained during that phase of the bourgeoisie’s dead eyed war on the class; the communities gutted, bodies broken and lives lost in the UK and abroad. Comrades certainly don’t need trite reminders from the pretend Labour Party’s recruiting sergeants about how “Thatcherism still lives”. That Glenda Jackson MP, who demanded that the army be used to quell rioters in 2011, and abstained on the Workfare vote a few weeks ago, can stand up in the House Of Commons and say how nasty yer woman was takes some amount of fucking chutzpah doesn‘t it? And don’t get us started on the commentariat and their sanctimonious simpering dickwittery about respecting “the family” and why it’s wrong to celebrate anyone’s death. The politically anemic gutless fucks. The whole fucking squillion poundsworth of “Falklands themed” funeral fiasco is going to be one big sordid gloat about killing Argentinian conscripts in the face isn’t it?

Hmppph.

Anyways, la lucha continua and so on.

——–

People’s Commission for the Bright Dawn of Proletarian Democracy (PCBDPD)

bomb voyage thatcher

*Apart from Augusto Pinochet of course ffs, whose death sparked celebrations that must have thoroughly appalled whoever the Chilean equivalent of Owen Jones was. Oh, and Savile.

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Blood On The Snow – a Marxist critique of fake fires

PD fire

Why Proletarian Democracy says no and no again to bourgie imitations of a working fireplace 

Comrades, as the winter season is upon us we see signs that distinguish the honest toiler from his petit-bourgeois autonomist imitators.

Most insidious of all is that peculiar middle-class affliction of the fake fire.

The bourgeois affectation of fake fires displays an inherent mistrust of honest logs, hewn by a workers hand and fed to the furnace by proleterians. Indeed comrades, we see the fake fire as furtherance of the faux working class habits assumed by people demonstrably and demographically far above the station they wish to claim. For is it not that the white collared parasite feels ever insecure in his middling position, ever concerned with vaulting his children up the ladder of capitalist society while he is a mere missed payday away from the dread of creditors calling and consigning him to the life of a toiler? A life he enjoyes aping while secretly terrified of the reality?

Unmetered and unfettered he allows his pretend logs to glow, glow, glow with the gas stolen from our Scotch breddrin – a resource he can enjoy while rickets and frostbite ravage the Tennants of our much abused northern neighbour state.

Just as the vacillating petit-bourgeois will vacillate between the right and the left in a revolutionary situation, in the situation of winter he will vacillate between wanting to imitate the hand-hewn logs of the workers and wanting to put a brave face on it and be cold. It is fashionable you see.

“I am tougher than this, I do not need heat!” he cries, the very terms in which he puts a brave face on his discomfort displaying his enthusiasm for individualist, free-market politics which has been the downfall of many a supposedly Marxist organisation. Yet his pretend logs betray a more profound truth. Just as he pretends to have a real proletarian fire, the so-called fire in his belly for the revolutionary cause is also pretend.

How many times have we observed as the upper-middle classes affect a fake burning desire for the revolution, only to switch off the gas of struggle as the kindling of proletarian justice burns too hot for comfort?

Oft times the tool of the boss class will recall how he once enjoyed fray bentos tinned pies and super noodles – the food of his student years magnified to fit his gross revisionism and caricature of himself as once-prole. The fools would recoil in horror from a decent Rachel Khoo stew, even their roasts must be Blumenthaled to fuck.

For him the workers’ struggle is merely a decoration to be admired at during dinner parties. Just as his pretend logs could never burn his fingers, so he shall always maintain a safe distance from the wrath of capital, unlike the toilers he exploits. The splinters from real workers’ wood are far too close to the sharp end of struggle for him. Instead for the profligate wastrel, gas using at the expense of the lugubrious Pict is his solution.

“I do not need to put the heating on, I will conserve energy”, is his cry. But the only energy he will conserve is his own as during the coming revolutionary situation he will stand aside, warming his hands on the flame of his non-existent proletarian credentials declaring he was once a socialist but then grew up.

The fake wood on his fire will leave him freezing out in the cold winter of the crisis of capitalism as, like so many before him, he shuns the hot coals of the vanguard, in fact his mere dampening, smothering presence prevents the flame of revolt from being lit. But not for long!

Inevitably we all turn to the embers of true Marxist Leninism, ready to be stoked and brought to bright flame by the poker of Posadist iron. For the bourgeoisie and their fake fires there is no ember to stoke. They are left poking at a false log, a false consciousness, poking it with a car aerial.

And if that delivers unto them a shock, we say GOOD.

We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning – Billy Joel

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Multitudinous Positionism

There appears to be a bit of confusion about our Privilege – The Intersectionalising game, and whether it contradicts our hitherto unassailable record of ideological correctness or not; so in order to clear the air as it were, we have formulated a new strategy we call Multitudinous Positionism.

Multitudinous Positionism is merely an extrapolation of orthodox Posadist thought which has unified the concepts of time and space in a fusion of Einstein and Marx; whereas conventional Trotskyist parties occupy every single policy position but spread out over time, holding each belief one after the other (reflecting their outmoded Newtonian linear conception of Time) Proletarian Democracy occupies every single policy position simultaneously.

Forwards (and backwards, sideways, up, down and maybe even some inter-dimensional bimbling) to the Permanent Multiple Policy!

We are indebted to Cmbbe Schrodinger and his cat for this insight.

As Cmde Shakespeare said so eloquently in his plea to “redden” the greens

No; this my hand will rather
The multitudinous-positionism* incarnadine,
Making the green ones red

*occasionally misrendered by bourgeois publishers as “multitudinous seas”

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Privilege: The Intersectionalising – New Card Game From PD

Select a lefty journo card and do Privilege Battle with the opposition’s choice. The player with the least privileged journalist on the 14 axes of privilege wins the round. Hours and hours and hours of argue fun!

Go on. Click to enlarge.

Go on. Click for large version.

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Ideal (And For PD Members, Compulsory) “Christmas” Gift Idea For All Comrades Within The Context Of The Broad Front

PD Operation Workers' Bomb

Click here for large version.

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Annual Proletarian Democracy Workers’ Bomb Fighting Fund Fitenite: It’s On Like The Vietcong

PD Fundraiser Fitenite

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Proletarian Democracy Internal Security Committee Communiqué re: Ex-Cmde Luke Akehurst – Also, Shakin’ Stevens

We denounce dilettante ex-comrade Luke ‘nukem’ Akehurst.

His unsanctioned, infantile and increasingly bizarre showboating on the twitter machine will have alerted the state apparatus to his status as a Proletarian Democracy sleeper agent.

He is hereby rendered useless in the struggle for world revolution.

His puerile individualism has seen him betray the future of humanity.

Now dead to the revolution we cast him out! But we do not mourn, we organise.

Speaking of which, we have a show, Prolederella, our proper communism pantomime, to sort out. Less than a week to go until the curtain goes up in Stroud Cosmonaut School and this is all we have.

Prolederella: This midnight transformation shows clearly the true nature of late capitalism beneath the apparent opulence and glamour!

Prince Discreet Charming of the Bourgeoisie: Oh no it doesn’t!

Prolederella: Oh yes it does. Be ready for a still greater midnight transformation, when the hands of the workers’ nuclear clock reach the fateful hour!

And still no sign of Shakin’ Stevens, our Fairtrade Chocolate Buttons.

Never trust an ex-CPGBer come pantomime season.

Proletarian Democracy Internal Security Committee/Pantomime Section

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Are We Not Grammar Nazis? No! We Are Grammar Marxist-Leninists [Posadist]

PD Marxs Shop

Comrades,

It is an incontrovertible fact that dialectical materialism is a scientific analysis of the objective conditions within which social forces contend for power and Proletarian Democracy has hardly ever shied away from this reality. So it is surely now necessary to turn away from the shiny & eye-catching but borderline irrelevant issues of socio-economics and the mewling party politics of the day in order to address an issue that comes as close as can be to a historical-objective issue for all English-speaking peoples.

I speak of course of the Greengrocer’s Apostrophe.

Nothing sums up the petit-bourgeois and hence utterly counter-revolutionary nature of the absent or misused apostrophe more judiciously than its appropriation by greengrocers, part of the hated subaltern shopkeeper class, desperately striving (in its economic expression) for full access to the privileged realm of the big monopoly capitalists while (in its political-ideal expression) it hankers endlessly for a faux romantic nostalgic vision of a lost golden age when the small businessman was the schutzabteilung of transformative capitalism, the contradiction between these two visions yielding a multitude of pathological consequences.

“Forward into the Past!” is their cry; a contemptible yowl which is both meaningless and all too useful to those darker forces who seek to exploit their confused and dichotomous weltanschauung.

Proletarian Democracy (the party of the intergalactic working class) has never wavered on this front. It proudly proclaims a correctly applied, scientific-materialist possessive apostrophe right at the masthead of its august organ, Workers’ Girder, and no one could be in any doubt of our stance here.

But what of some of those so-called (because self-described) “revolutionary parties” who claim to be following the path of Trotsky? The Socialist Workers Party? The Workers Revolutionary Party? By their wilful deletion of the appropriate possessive shall ye know them comrades. It is quite clear to those with eyes to see that these parties do NOT belong to the Workers and until we see that apostrophe, we will know them for what they are; grubby bourgeois deviationists who secretly long to don a cloak of stall-holders artificial grass, the badge of the greengrocer’s class.

Let no one ever doubt that the Girder belongs to the Workers! Long live the correctly applied possessive apostrophe! Death to the reactionary pseudo-grammar of the Trotskyist impersonators!

Now some naive Cmdes have raised objections to the effect that the greengrocer’s apostrophe refers to something that is there when it should not be (eg “banana’s”), rather than not there when it should be (eg Socialist Workers Party). But as Marx said, “all that is solid melts into air”, and once more his sage words have proved to be correct; the holy greengrocer’s apostrophe has been profaned by the so-called revolutionary Trotskyists and airbrushed out of their history as disgustingly as the worst of Stalin’s excesses.

So in the meantime we say “Socialist Workers Party”?

No!

But Socialist Workers – PARTY!

Fraternal rgds from deepest Stroud

Cmde Barry Mainwaring

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The Booing Of The Miliband – A Revolution Clears Its Throat

Congratulations to the brave and disciplined Proletarian Democracy [Posadist] cadre who led the booing of pretend Labour Party leader Miliband at this Saturday’s TUC sponsored attack on British workers.

For all to see, your shining example was rapidly picked up by a multitude of working class voices and beamed around the globe via the stunned bourgeois media. Voices so long ignored, distorted or dismissed by both reformist leaders and toytown revolutionaries, were finally raised in damning union with our dear comrades.

Once again, Proletarian Democracy demonstrates that its claim to be the sole pole of attraction for the most advanced elements of the class is no idle boast; not only does Proletarian Democracy bring together in a fist the best fighters for the working class, it also hones the latest and sharpest instruments for the class war.

Let the boo become the call to arms, simultaneously drowning out the illusions of reform and bellowing the demand for a world turned upside down.

Parapoet Section, Culture Division, People’s Commission for the Bright Dawn of Proletarian Democracy (PCBDPD)

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Who Are Proletarian Democracy? A Historico-Theoretical Special

Cde Barry Mainwaring explains who we really are

NOURISHING SOUP OF WORKERS’ POWER

In the 1970s, we were an unassociated tendency in the tensile lassitude of Workers’ Power. It has taken us nearly 25 years to coalesce together to form the emulsion that is Proletarian Democracy from amidst the nourishing soup of WP. That is to say we felt things were not quite right, but couldn’t say this for fear of rocking the boat back then. However had we said all of what we wanted, then it is/was what would have been right.

HERD MENTALITY OF THE MAJORITY WORLD

Though we had criticisms of the Labour Party in 1978, we felt the one thing that they should not have been criticised for was the export of nuclear material to Majority World countries. Workers’ Power should have openly come out and praised A.Q. Khan’s liberation of nuclear bomb making technology from British-funded Urenco facilities. We felt this would better have objectively aligned Workers’ Power with the instinctive herd mentality feelings of the Majority World masses.

SELF-APPOINTED APPARATCHIKS

A.Q. Khan helped build up the only true independent Workers’ Bomb (China’s deformed status means its nuclear arsenal can only be characterised as a Bonapartist-semi-feudal hiero-Mandelite neo-Kautskyian Workers’ Bomb). Workers’ Power’s failure to fully support A.Q. reflects the confusion so many soi-disant leftists have between the Programme of Action and the completely different girder of Transitional Programme. Nonetheless self-appointed apparatchiks such as Mark Hoskisson openly pontificate on their metataxis to gullible acolytes.

FOR NAFF’S RIGHT TO PUBLISH LIES ABOUT GRUNWICK

We felt Workers’ Power should have stuck to its guns in defence of the rights of editors at the Guardian to bravely publish in 1977 the NAFF (National Association For Freedom, now The Freedom Association) advertisement on the Grunwick dispute. Instead of seeing this as a workplace issue, crucial to non-unionised millions, it needed viewing as a defence of editorial freedom of speech. We boldly stand for the principle that censorship should only be conducted by editors and sub-editors as this provides the only get-out clause for protest daredevilism and close-to-the bone danger journalism. (Even Nick Lezard agrees with us on the importance of danger-journalism, so desperately needed in these tawdry times)

KREMLIN-CATHOLIC CONSPIRACY

We secretly welcomed the Free Presbyterian Church’s analysis that the revisionist Kremlin-Catholic conspiracy was increasingly becoming unstoppable over vast swathes of northern Europe:- in ecumenical Sunday services, in old people’s homes in Barnsley, in glue sniffing gangs in Scotland, in George Harrison’s increasingly unlistenable pampered Western fusion of classical Bengali and pop music, even on Royal Air Force playing fields.

Whilst we disagreed with slogans raised in the Reverend Ian Paisley’s 1977 strike, we urged a stronger Workers’ Power ‘stand’ against anti-social hooliganism, which would have done nothing meaningful or practical, but would have significantly raised our hardman esteem within the Left.

Others have seen the error of Workers’ Power’s ways here. To be proletarianly judicious to Permanent Revolution, their criticisms of S.W.P.-U.A.F. anti-fascism and editorials in favour of constant defence-squadism have been correctly followed up by no action whatsoever.

(For more information please attend our public meeting ‘UAF, NF, SWP, BNP, EDL, SNP, WP, PR, S019 And Criminal Gangs – How a Workers’ Bomb Could Be The Breakthrough We’re Waiting For’… details on the back page of next month’s Workers’ Girder)

Usually just before they get boring, we have used popular ‘memes’ to urge other so-called leftists to engage in self-criticism

We accurately foresaw the destruction of the pseudo-socialist Warsaw Pact states, correctly guessing the date of Ceausescu’s execution, many many years before it happened. However, we were prohibited from expressing our prescient forecasts under the stifling yoke of the Workers’ Power Central Committee Bonapartist clique. Slowly but surely we began to factionalise secretly and quietly. Sometimes alone, sometimes in groups, sometimes in the toilets, sometimes behind a curtain in a Workers’ Power 3-Day Marathon Seminar.

We factionalised.

We factionalised whilst others vacillated.

Our success rate at predicting major events is the envy of the dank left sectette swamp

NUCLEAR MINI-ROCKETS FOR CONCORDE

Whilst other leftist groups called for cancelling Concorde immediately, we felt Tony Benn’s supersonic dream could be re-invigorated with the adoption of nuclear mini-rockets under its wings. After declasse lumpenproletariat elements again rioted in 1985 for fun and profit in the second wave of (objectively anti-PD) neoliberal riots, we secretly maintained it was always more practical to argue for nuclear weapons laboratories in each and every working-class suburb of Britain’s major cities and market towns.

Had Workers’ Power called for this, at a stroke it would have solved the employment problems of working class youth on the way to building Proletarian Democracy. Well disciplined working-class workers from these working class suburbs would soon have been able to commandeer these laboratories with well-planned Workers’ Defence Squads.

Alas, the call was never made.

We wished that Workers’ Power would be more constructive in its engagement with Militant’s call for the nationalisation of the top 100 firms in Britain, by calling for the nuclearisation of Britain’s top 100 firms. If these firms did not use or produce nuclear power or bombs, the assets would be seized by a real Workers’-Farmers’ Government.

LIQUIDATIONIST TENDENCIES 

In spite of the strong liquidationist tendencies within a substratum of semi-Stalinist circles in and around Workers’ Power’s CC in the 1980s, Mark Hoskisson was productively correct to assert that Trotsky, had he lived to 1945 to see a nuclear bomb in action, would have revised his statements denouncing nuclear physics and nuclear weapons:

“Now with the reality of the boom, only an idiot or perhaps a charlatan like Gerry Healy, would describe Trotsky’s categorical declaration as correct. However we reject the idea that Trotsky’s error stems from an objectivist and fatalist methodology on his part. This charge, levelled at him by theoretical cheapskates like John Molyneaux – does not stand up for one minute.” – (Workers’ Power Theoretical Journal of Workers’ Power- no9).

BOURGEOIS MILIEU TO ITS CORE

 Hoskisson is only partially correct to suggest “Had Trotsky’s epigones re-elaborated his programme in the 1950s many of the difficulties we face today would not exist.” The contradictory containment of post-war Trotskyism within the methodological confines of identary post-manufactured retopianism would have marked a bourgeois milieu to its very core even in the 1950s, hence Hoskisson would be wrong.

If you think what we say doesn’t make sense, read it again!

DRIVE GOOD HOUSEKEEPING INTO THE CAMP OF THE BOURGEOISIE!

Although Paul Mason is now an erstwhile counter-Proletarian Democrat on Newsnight, his contribution to Workers’ Power as it was then, was insightful:

“Soviet power in reality had been enough to drive the Mensheviks into the camp of the bourgeoisie, to make centrists like Kautsky opt decisively for bourgeois-democratic counter-revolution. Conversely it had raised the political sights of the best syndicalist and anarchist militants who had hitherto rejected both the party and state power, by embodying in deeds the revolutionary essence of these words.” – (Workers’ Power Theoretical Journal of Workers’ Power- no9).

We Agree.

It remains our aim to drive Mensheviks such as the IRSP, Eirigi, the ICC, the SSP and the various sordid sub-party groupings around the journals ‘The Commune’, ‘Battaglia Comunista’, ‘Good Housekeeping’ and Lauren Laverne’s columns in Grazia into the camp of the bourgeoisie. We are as committed as ever to make centrists like Owen Jones and Caitlin Moran opt decisively for counter-revolution. And, we will, in time, make the best syndicalist and anarchist militants embody in deeds both party and state. The worst syndicalist and anarchist militants naturally will face a workers’ girder.

THE ‘MACE’ IN PAUL MASON

The crucial point: we were the ‘mace’ in Paul Mason’s words. We did what he preached, and began taking action to make the bourgeoisie crack from within. We knew better than to openly discuss our factionalisation in front of the WP CC, and to openly digress from their characterisation of the Labour Party as a bourgeois workers’ party would have been foolish. We knew they would never condone or support militant action and might even have acted as informers – so we acted in secret, in private.

Whilst we knew it was important to promote the cultured against the un-cultured, the punk-loving against those who thought it was just noise, those who accepted quality journalism versus those who sneered; there were more pressing battles.

EARLY PROLETARIAN BATTLES

Our first targets were posters for concerts and records by The Mekons in Manchester city centre. We had never forgiven them for continuing to popularise a counter-revolutionary perspective on extraterrestrial life. The infantilism of sub-Cannonite Dan Dare comics which portray aliens as intellectually super-advanced beasts, but morally bankrupt beings, should have remained quarantined in antique stores. For a group of ostensibly punk musicians to resurrect such a cognomen is to traduce the Proletarian Heritage of a genre like punk; a de facto flagrantly insufficient application of Trotsky and Adorno on art. Science-Fiction must be either be Ironic or Revolutionary, else it is nothing.

Then came the Mekons’ real treachery!

The release of ‘Never Been In A Riot’, an attempt to deliberately and shamelessly mollify the bourgeoisie by projecting an image of confused youth, unable to cope with the demands of barricade-heavy struggle.

Having decided upon action, we used marker pens to strike out the name ‘Mekons’ from their posters and adverts. With growing confidence our targets became ever more audacious – inside John Menzies, Cheadle High Street, in Cheadle Central Library’s periodicals rack – anywhere and everywhere. With biros surreptitiously tucked in jacket pockets, we thoroughly defaced any references to the Mekons in the music press. (One advantage of this was it gave us a chance to read the NME as part of our political activity.)

A thorough Proletarian response throughout the bedrock of Cheadle and in scattered parts of Glossop!

This was merely the start of a glorious trajectory – the footsteps to a nuclear earthquake!

MIGRATING AFRICAN SWALLOWS

Instead of Workers’ Power’s defensive abortion campaign in the 1980s, merely trying to protect the limited legacy of the social non-Proletarian Democratic Roy Jenkins Act, we called for an offensive campaign. We demanded abortion procedures for all men between the ages of sixteen and twenty four in order to help equalise the social stigma around reproduction. We also called for a programme of abortion amongst Britain’s farm animals and domestic birds, and pending negotiation with the revolutionary regimes of Frontline Africa, some agreement on abortion for migrating African swallows.

We urged some kind of investment programme to fund technological research into the problems in this field. Why should only human females be given a right to choose? To simply insert IUDs or spade a certain quantity would be an invasion of animal rights as Peter Singer so bravely explained. But a safe and simple abortion procedure for animals asserting their own right to choose remains elusive.

WHO REMEMBERS THE NUCLEAR BOMB RESEARCH ASSISTANTS?

We strenuously argued in favour of nuclear power and nuclear weapons, no matter how dangerous, unhealthy or militarised any reactors would be, since only with nuclear weapons in the West would work for the Workers’ Bomb be extended elsewhere. We vigorously supported the AEUW’s nuclear division leaders as they rubbished reports from environmental groups and dissident nuclear physicists.

By 2006, we were able to swiftly categorise journalism detailing payments from BNFL to unions as counter-revolutionary, weakly researched and generally poor. The current members of PD (present author included) cut their teeth in the gritty dirt-in-your-nails, calluses-on-your-hands, mud-up-your-bum coffee-bunker struggles over Workers’ Power’s Election Platform on the nuclear/workers’ bomb issue.

What part of ‘Writing pro-nuclear columns is harder than going to live next door to Sellafield to bring up your children’ did they fail to understand?

We have always enjoyed letting other people struggle for us here then take the credit for it. Why not apply this principle to nuclear physics as well? After all, who remembers Sir Henry Tizard‘s research assistants?

WE LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD

In the new era, whilst there is more to be done, we have achieved much. Between us, our members have:

  • written over 170 position papers
  • typed up 1200 meeting notes on over 8000 pages of A4
  • attended 9 Earth First Winter Moots arguing the case for nuclear power and the Workers’ Bomb, only to be hounded out by a swarm of ‘crusties’ at the last one in a dispute over who ate the last of a pack of poorly-labelled marshmallows (since many green anarchists disliked the fact that we had prominent journalists in national newspapers they did nothing to help us)
  • formed 4 external, 2 semi-permanent, 3 fully permanent and 4 internationally allied factions within various left groups, primarily Worker’s Power
  • moved 456 Conference motions of one sort or another
  • held 19 webcasted symposia
  • organised 12 guerrilla theatre actions which the Space Hijackers and Association of Autonomous Astronauts were too sectarian to note let alone applaud
  • organised over 92 international speaking tours
  • seen Ted Grant fall asleep in 3 separate meetings
  • called for well over 350 immediate emergency demos
  • infiltrated 5 Parish councils
  • stood outside over 23 embassies in solidarity protests with average attendance of under a dozen
  • added an extraneous clenched fist symbol to a leaflet in over 200 instances
  • printed something in the colours black and red well over 2,500 times
  • solved the ‘National Question’ in over 100 of the present-day 191 U.N. countries (and, comrades, we are well on our way to solving the others too!)
  • used the caption ‘the worker’s friend?’ over 40 times to explain something about a trade union official
  • auctioned or raffled 9 Mark Steel pocket history books and 3 Mark Thomas DVDs to raise funds.

And finally, we accepted, unlike others, that a prize for a Christmas crossword puzzle could not be an extra copy of Permanent Revolution in festive wrapping. Many in Workers’ Power sadly continue to live in a deluded ultra-revolutionary dreamscape where students are all dope-smoking punk rebels, and workers go out on strike with a call from the weekly paper.

We live in the real world.

DEBATING ZOMBIE MULTICULTURALISM WITH PROFESSOR PAUL GILROY

What else?

We have:

  • included in publications 500 cartoons featuring large-belly fat capitalist company bosses, in the knowledge that (with the sizeable exception of Sir Digby Jones) they barely exist in that shape any longer.
  • continued to use sickles on our posters, flatly failing to recognise that farm-workers in Britain do not use sickles
  • continued to show cartoons of workers performing tasks that have long been mechanised in Western capitalism
  • produced 6 ironic versions of ‘Keep Calm and’ posters. (Our favourite: ‘Keep Calm and Don’t Watch Game of Thrones’)
  • attended University Challenge on 4 separate occasions
  • discussed the merits and demerits of various Oxford Colleges with the late Paul Foot
  • re-energised the anti-war movement when it was flagging by reloading the ‘Thatcher, Thatcher, Thatcher Out Out Out’ chant with ‘Blair, Blair, Blair Out Out Out’ (This was us, not Fight Racism Fight Imperialism)
  • attended a Royal Festival Hall debate between Tony Benn and David Davis (not to hold Benn to task for giving money to South Africa for uranium in Namibia unlike infantile ultras) but to make the case for new nuclear facilities in Gibraltar
  • participated in an open-air, open-mic straight-edge only discussion of zombie multiculturalism and race citizenship with Professor Paul Gilroy
  • bragged about the quantity of our alcohol and/or tobacco consumption to countless hundreds in an attempt to prove our proletarian habits
  • donated 12 sketches and paintings (mostly of miners) and stacks of unsold Housman’s Peace Postcards (reinterpreted with a red marker pen to reflect the truth of Proletarian Democracy) for foreign revolutionary movements’ representatives

SALUTE THE MAJORITY WORLD

We have even made a gallery representing our favourite Majority World movements and figures:

  • the original Sendero Luminoso
  • the anti-revisionist Nepalese Maoists
  • the Amal militia
  • the Mouvement Revolutionaire National pour le Developpement of Rwanda
  • Kyaing Kyaing and Than Dar Shwe
  • Ujamaa villages
  • Jim and Nancy Jones
  • women’s sugar worker units of Burnham’s socialist Guyana
  • patriotism lessons in Cuban secondary schools
  • Esma Assad’s house servants
  • female Haitian voodoo practitioners
  • castrated dissidents from the Ottoman janissaries in the Gilan revolutionaries
  • the thousand-li winged horse Chollima
  • microfinance to women as done by the anti-imperialist Nasser bank (not the pro-capitalist pro-IMF Grameen bank)
  • Bonnie ‘Ti’ Nettles (cruelly ignored in histories that focus upon ‘Do’)
  • Girls Aloud’s Kronstadt ballad (ghost-written we believe by a Moroccan producer)
  • Wangari Maathai
  • Raila Odinga
  • Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf and Cde Weyzero Wubanchi Bishaw – heroes one and all
  • Lady Eva Peron (cruelly lampooned by empty-headed bourgeois liberal Andrew Lloyd-Weber)
  • the Red Guards’ and PLA riot clean-up volunteer brigades of the late 1960s
  • armed clanswomen of northern Chad
  • Mirjana Markovic’s defence of anti-balkanised socialist Yugoslavia
  • La Camarada Norah (but NOT La Passionara)
  • the Trung sisters
  • the rebel UPDA
  • Justine Odong Latek and Alice ‘Lakwena’ Auma
  • Delilah and Mary Magdalene (contrary to Western bourgeois academia, these are clearly Majority World figures)
  • Themie Thomai
  • Fiqirete Shehu
  • Nejimha Hoxha, particularly at the Vladimir Lenin Higher Party School’s Lake Ohrid summer retreat
  • the egalitarian spirit of the Mareexaan clan of Somalia
  • humanist Zambia’s collective farms
  • the socialist hotel managers in revolutionary Grenada
  • and last, but certainly not least! Hannibal’s elephants

There are no precision measurements (beyond what we say) for how progressive something is, but we feel sure that People’s Pyongang might still remain a half-lit beacon sustaining aspects of the logic of propelling the proletarian class along the path to Global Revolution and Wholesale Liberation.

Clearly it is a vilely deformed workers’ state in many aspects, however its people know within their titanium girder bones to revere their armed forces. Its people know how to live and, if necessary, die for the Workers’ Bomb. Its people know meaning in this mortal coil comes from Songun, and defending the nation, its alliances and its freedoms.

Every day its 25 million adherents, scorning vile bourgeois-individualist concepts such as ‘meaningful pensions’, ‘paid holidays to compensate for employment’, ‘health and safety for individual workers’, ‘the right to choose your job’ , ‘retirement before death’, and ‘mutually assured destruction’, give concrete struggle to embolden the juche spirit.

A EUROPE OF PROLETARIAN NATIONS?

If we could somehow combine Nigel Farage‘s Europe of Nations (or as we call it an Association of Independent European Socialist States) or an irradiated moon of Jupiter with the spirit of People’s Korea, a fully-fledged Proletarian Democracy may emerge. Nigel Farage genuinely desires national liberation and nationwide independence – what finer or more popular British protagonist of juche is there? Galloway? We think not.

Whilst we disagree with Farage on the use of the bourgeois colour purple, we would like to see a constructive dialogue between the progressive minority within UKIP and PD. The nuclear ball valve is in their court, if they are serious about furthering their anti-EU goals.

OUR SECTIONS 

Our journalist section members have between them, in total, published or have been heavily involved in:

  • 398 articles for the Guardian/Observer
  • 314 articles for the Independent and Independent on Sunday
  • 58 in the New Statesman
  • 43 in Red Pepper
  • 36 in New Humanist
  • and 3 in New Scientist

They have visited over 16 crisis-ridden countries and made up over 89 quotes attributed in part to 21 made-up people, correctly justifying this Proletarian Democratic practice on the grounds that many people made up names when returning Poll Tax forms.

Any PD member who succeeds in getting an ideologically sound article published in the bourgeois press will receive a free hardhat like this one modelled by posh funnyman Chris Morris

Our Manchester members, still our core, have intervened in literally dozens of meetings:

  • 3 ICC meetings
  • 4 CPGB meetings
  • 9 SP meetings
  • and 19 SWP meetings

We hope to branch out and grow our appeal by intervening in a Spartacist League meeting somewhere in Sheffield in the new year.

Our North London members, who spearheaded the ‘Long March of the Hoxton Crowd’ driving their family property portfolios further northwards into Haggerston and Dalston Kingsland, have fought the housing benefit cap by holding a meeting on a weeknight in London Conway Hall without childcare at the venue or any babysitting in people’s homes.

Our South London members have attempted to discuss the consequences of the 1974 Imperial Typewriters strike with Darcus Howe on 2 separate occasions waiting for his departure from his flat in order to Doorstep-Dialectics Discussion-Challenge him. This has been a superb Proletarian Democracy innovation, one we look forward to applying to Tariq Ali. (Discussing Vietnamese Trotskyists in 1937 makes perfect sense in Tariq Ali’s neighbourhood of Muswell Hill-Crouch End.)

PD Juniors members have instructions to utilise so-called playtime to create revolutionary images with Lego etc

Our unflagging youth movement members have, over time, released several fundraising CDs with poorly mixed KRS-1, Public Enemy, Paris and Dead Prez songs. ‘Revolutionary Mixtape 1’, ‘Popo the Block’ and ‘Down with Kim Howells – the Compilation’ were particular favourites. They have organised 3 highly-liked post-ironic Facebook ‘joke’ campaigns to ‘vote for the most working class one’ in various Simon Cowell television shows, and made the tough-revolutionary point that the NUS is not like a workplace union in a total of 8 different ways. Inside, but outside and against the unions – at the same time. Have your cake (from the SU shop’s fair-trade range), but keep it for later!

Proletarian Democracy Juniors Secretary General “King Bomba” launching ‘Crush The Tailist Elements’ campaign

Our female members (12% in all, a supremely high proportion of total membership compared to other vile sectarian ultra-leftists) have demanded funding to organise a women’s day from general funds.

The discussion between the Proletarian Democratic Organising Committee and Women’s Committee over this point has been in progress over the past 3 months and will continue at the next sub-congress at the semi-regional level.

In the meantime, some of their members have written an appraisal of another journalist member’s Guardian Saturday Magazine feature on unusual lizard pets, scoring it 8 out of 10 in its attempt to insert Proletarian Democracy feminism into newspaper articles. (Compared to the tawdry efforts of Madeleine Bunting, Liz Jones and Rosamund Urwin and their limp bourgeois feminism, our women’s section is like a male’s faceful of pepper-spray laced with uranium oxide ready to decay).

A response paper is expected soon.

All new female recruits receive a free hardhat. We have loads left over from when a long departed comrade tried to form Hull’s own Tute Bianche in 2001ish

Our racial minority caucus consists of 1 member, an Egyptian international PhD student completing his thesis on the Middle East labour movement in a prestigious economic history department.

A BOOM WITH A VIEW. THE WORKERS’ BOMB

Our efforts prove we are the hardest working and most correct organised left-wing grouping in Britain. We have done all this allied to the spirit of Proletarian Democracy. There are endless complaints about us but we shall not sully ourselves with answering all (or indeed any) of them.

We merely wish to re-emphasise the central point.

We do what we say. We have the vision and you have the leg-work. Look at the title of our paper ‘Workers’ Girder’. It means what it says – to those who understand, no explanation is needed, to those who do not understand, no further explanation is possible.

One day we all will look over the part Proletarian Democracy played in the construction of a post-nuclear bomb workers’ democracy and smile with pride.

Join Us.

Cde Barry Mainwaring

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Coming Soon! Proletarian Democracy Hero Top Trumps! Hot Red Anti-Pacifist Card Game Action!

Each interest-packed Proletarian Democracy Hero Top Trumps card offers comrades the opportunity to relive great, and frankly not-so-great, moments in revolutionary history that so-called historians tend not to be bothered with.

!!!

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Our response to Counterfire’s cafe – Posadas Fried Chicken

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Bringing the Workers’ Meal Deal to the workers!

Announcing a new and exciting leap forward for the International Proletarian Milieu!

A social space to instigate the conquest of outer space!

Proletarian Democracy spurns the swamp of Latte Leninism, and Cappuccino froth ‘Communism’ and instead is proud to announce the imminent opening of the first of our flagship proletarian revolutionary takeaways!

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Offering Comrades unrivalled access to the true proletariat through ‘serving the class’. Our new restaurants will be at the heart of the international working class communities!

“Do you want a revolutionary programme for the emancipation of the proletariat with that?”

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Chile Coup 39th Anniversary – Frank Turner and Grant Shapps – Never Forgive, Never Forget

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It’s been a busy week for the party of the international working class (Proletarian Democracy), but we note with guarded approval that one Frank Turner; PC Mark Kennedy lookalike, Eton pretend punk prince and fanny of “nu-beige” folk, has been outed by the Fabians of The Guardian as a disgusting species of INDIVIDUAL known as a ‘libertarian‘. Frank who? Many a worker has asked. Well a couple here in the Tayto factory did when the issue was raised. We had no idea either until he snagged the Olympics gig. It’s ok. We have listened to his works, sooooo you don’t have to.

Turner, who claims to be “very pro-capitalist” and “a big fan of Matt Ridley and Tim Worstall” on his blog is set to release his tasteless latest album, “The Friends Of Frank Turner Group” today. Why, comrades, are we not all gagging to hear this, on the 39th anniversary of the tragic day that reasonably proper socialism took a not unforeseen but still well sneaky shove in the back, and tumbled down the stairs of history?

I had to ask myself, well,
Is it really worth it?
Is any of this worth it?
Well the whole thing’s far from perfect,
But I’ve yet to figure out a better way to spend my time.

Francis eventually found a better way … gorging himself in the cocoon-like beer garden of the unearthly far right on a diet of Atlas Shrugged, geocities websites, nagging mater letters, UKIP pamphlets and Von Mises Institute leftovers, until he emerged a fully-fledged neo-Gremialista, the true form of his genocidal class’s spawn. Clearly his time at 30k a year Eton was not spent unwisely, sticking the pages of The Fountainhead together.

Readers, comrades. Today marks the occasion when a democratically elected socialist was ousted by a right-wing coup. Twenty years to get there and dead after three. The plain shortcomings of bourgeois parliamentarianism aside for a while, who can forget the withered claw of Thatcher, bearing an uncanny resemblance to the one in the Beast With Five Fingers film, hovering over Pinochet’s … coffin?

My guitar is not for the rich no, nothing like that. My song is of the ladder we’re building to the stars.

It is a sickening historical reverberation that at a time when all communists regardless of the incorrectness of their respective positions (we’re looking at you Proletarian Action) reflect upon the Chilean tragedy, more Hawker Hunters personified by Frank Turner and Grant Shapps, circle menacingly above the people. In the face of this modern-day equivalent of creatures who sell the oil of snakes and add arsenic to bread, the party of the international working class finds itself drawn to defend the actions of the capitalist outfit known as Google.

Surely we cannot be far from some kind of apocalypse, bomb-based or otherwise, when the one true voice of Leninist thinking has recourse to uphold the integrity of capitalism’s favourite search engine (scant though it may be)? We, of course, denounce in the most vitriolic terms Google’s capitulation to the butchers of Tiananmen Square in their attempts to impose a censored search engine on the population. But nonetheless, the stance they have taken on the Shapps issue is to be commended and holds a ray of hope that the transition to socialism may yet be conducted without the spillage of too much proletarian blood. At least not on our keyboards, tablets, iPads etc.

Let us then condemn the muddying of waters as personified by “Chuck Champion”. The working classes could never have seen such an epic champion of rapey tips since this Tory shyster exposed his vile agenda. Not content with flogging pick-up guides to yonder innocent Yanquis, he developed a so-called piece of “entrepreneurial” software which did little more than thieve the hard-coded toil of workers and petty-bourgeois internet businessmen, the so-called favoured labour caste, who unfortunately, according to Trotsky, we must aim to win over to socialism in the forthcoming revolutionary situation.

Quite soon, the cigar-sucking godfather of bearded-man socialism will pass on to the great Dacha in the sky. When he has gone, there will be many reformist and ultra-left pretenders who will resort to piss-weak Ecuadorian shenanigans in place of a proper democratic centralist framework. Castro made something of socialism that is not of a European mould. We shall not see his like again.

Our demands:

  • Defend Google Ads!
  • Defend Google! But down with the Great Firewall of China! State Capitalism is to be decried!
  • Down with the Shapps-Green-Champion juggernaut of spam and deception! Let us not forget that Shap is one letter removed from Sham! These people are running our country – honestly, they are!
  • Uphold the gains of Reasonably Proper Socialism! Let us never forget …Castro and Allende!

“We’re not just having fun, we’re saving lives” – Frank Turner

Photo by Nelson Keru Arancibia.

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Tu-Whit Tu-Hewitt!

In exposing the purple cyclops of royalism, Kelvin MacKenzie of The Sun has unwittingly performed the working class a huge service. The flame-haired flaneur flashing his rusty sheriff’s badge should leave us in no doubt as to the depth of carnal depravity that characterises this alarmingly inbred line.

Of course we should not be blinded by the majesty of a flaccid prince’s penis and forget that the vile organ pumping these frankly shitty images into our brains is that enemy of the working class ab aeterno – The Sun. While the Murdoch empire reels from the body blows of dark-arts scandals, we should not allow the prince’s pronounced tan-lines to distract us from the prick-shaming and persecution of the mischievous gaggle of cardsmarked drunken divorcees who hold the deeds to the grounds of the Fourth Estate merely in order to hang unsavoury images of Harry Hewitt’s pasty white arse from the balcony.

The phone, once a harmless tool of communication, has come to be exploited for increasingly sinister ends – namely to snoop on the details of people’s private lives. While the further exposure of monarchical decadence is to be welcomed and greeted with joyful, righteous vicarious disgust, was it not Leon Trotsky himself whose private correspondence was examined by Stalin in order to discredit him?

This week marks the anniversary of the assassination of Trotsky with an icepick in 1940, a job which would have been made this much easier if Stalin had simply speed-dialed Ramon Mercader on his mobile, or called 118118 to ask “Can I have the number of an icepick shop in Mexico”. A modern-day Stalin would not only be able to examine Trotsky’s letters, but listen to his voicemails and recoil from the voice of trueish Leninism. To read his texts – “Militarisation of Labour – LOL.” How much easier would the task of the traitors of Kronstadt have been if they had been able to text each other warnings of impending proletarian vengeance(!)?

The inbox of Bukharin, however, would surely only have been of interest to those who wondered what form Bolshevik love poetry might take.

Not only must we guard against invidious Fleet Street hacks, but also the perversions of democratic centralism personified by Stalin. So instead of merely hacking phones, as the Murdochs have done, let us smash the obsolete Nokia 3210 of capitalism against the wall of proletarian wrath, brick on brick, and cast the iPhone of imperialist tyranny into the murky depths. The bread and circuses of Snake have for too long kept the working classes from the promised lands of Angry Birds.

A worker needs but one phone – the Xperia running Linux. Only open source software, inaccessible to those who have yet to transcend jejune trade union consciousness, is acceptable in the face of two competing capitalist behemoths. The expressions of righteous but nevertheless uncoordinated, ill-disciplined and misdirected anger organised by lumpen elements using the so-called “crackberry”, must be avoided, as the revolution needs a leadership who can not only master Marxist theory but also master a confusing user interface.

Only this strategic direction can ensure that true democratic centralism will be maintained while preventing the emotive spontaneity and lack of leadership, accountable or otherwise, which has unfortunately been a feature of so many recent “autonomous” uprisings. Indeed comrades, as one thinks of Harry’s ginger sack sweatily defiling the baize produced by the proletariat for its leisurely needs, one can only wonder how many honest toilers must forever fail to pot that crucial 8 ball because of the stains of royalist excretions throwing the arrow-straight cueing action off beam? And in a wider sense, are we not all cast off beam by royalist ballbaggery?

Reflect on that for half a mo…

We may be amused as the dog of Murdochism savages the dignity (hah) of the royals. But make no mistake – this is the sixth form laughing at Sir.

Forwards, comrades, to a new game of pool! The working classes will one day never want for 50Ps and the royalist cuntclaque will be forced to rack up.

And yes, they will break first.

I’ve got one more bullet in my gun’ – Jimmy Cliff

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V is for Vilification – Proletarian Democracy Communique

A Proletarian Democracy Revolutionary Proletarian Justice Committee (Anti-Rapist Dog Unit) (PDRPJC(ARDU)) member patrolling Hans Crescent yesterday

Few comrades could have been unaware of the recent furore surrounding Julian Assange and his Wikileaks caper. The international proletariat have been eagerly awaiting a response from the party of the working class, Proletarian Democracy, on this important issue. Fear not!

Julian Assange, who signalled his rabid anti-working class agenda by confessing in a Forbes interview to being enamoured with “American libertarianism, market libertarianism”, is nothing more than a tawdry spiv who has cosied up to the Fabians of the Guardian and New York Times and the reformist Labourism which accords no RESPECT to the toiling masses.

By sheltering him, Correa and the Ecuadorian so-called ‘left’ confirm an unedifying anti-Bolivarian nature, thus completing their final degeneration and capitulation to the scampering dogs of imperialism. While an honourable proletarian lies rotting in a US military jail for revealing his information to the wrong man, Julian’s indiscretion with his sources mimics his indiscretion elsewhere.

Slinking into this sordid picture, adorned in the sweat-drenched leotard of reformist third-worldist lechery, comes George Galloway, placing Assange’s crimes in the category of “bad etiquette”. Big Brother? Or “our little secret?”

Does this mean that Proletarian Democracy supports his extradition to Sweden or the United States? Not at all! The working class has no country, and as Trotsky said, the revolution does not recognise national borders, whether those borders are those of Ecuador, the UK, the USA, or Sweden. It is before the international proletariat that he must be judged.

Based on a Proletarian Democracy poll, during which comrades went into the streets with a picture of Assange and asked the toilers for their opinion on whether they would let him look after their kids, the  results spoke for themselves: 90% said “wrong’un.”

Let Assange stay right where he is. Disregard the bourgeois concept of “diplomatic immunity” and let the working class storm the gates of the Ecuadorian embassy, with a cry of “No Slumbering!”  Scatter his deranged acolytes; them with their sweatshop produced V masks, a grotesque mockery of Guy Fawkes, whose sectarian Papist politics are all too well served by the intervention of a Galloway who hides too much behind his beard. Where now is the RESPECT for the international proletariat?

Assange and his basement-dwelling supporters have even claimed credit for the glorious victories of the working class in the Arab spring, in the ultimate substitutionist calumny. Why? Anyone would think that Assange had personally taken on Mubarak in single combat!

Only Proletarian Democracy can provide the protection which Julian Assange refused to bestow on his unfortunate victims. Assange will never be the prophylactic for the working classes, indeed he is always destined to slip. The working classes NEVER sleep, therefore Assange can never fuck them.

Unlike the Ecuadorian embassy, the doors of the Marxist-Leninist-Posadist vanguard will remain firmly locked to the violations of individualist libertarian juvenilia. We have slept too long – let us wake up to a proper socialist dawn!

You snooze, you lose!” – Anon

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