Eurovision Song Contest Final – A Proper Communist Perspective


Previews of the remaining entries, the self-styled big 5, and the hosts, Sweden, plus summaries of the qualifying tunes from semi-final 1 and semi-final 2.

1: France – Amandine Bourgeois – L’enfer Et Moi

I’m gonna give you hell
Right where you’re losing yourself
Have a good look in the rear mirror
I ‘ll be the one standing behind you

What’s it about?
OFTROT, the body we founded to monitor and regulate the known world’s Trotskyist groups. OFTROT (Office for the Trustworthy Relaying of the Oratory of Trotsky) carries out regular inspections of every single sect, resulting in a published evaluation of effectiveness. An adverse report may include a recommendation for further intervention in the running of, or even the dissolution of, the sect. OFTROT commissars swoop into town at 3am on quadricycles of colour.

Sounds like:
Son nom de guerre est “Bourgeois”. Clever non? Elle se passionne pour l’open mike nite. Malheuresement, elle a les bleues, et elle voudrait mettre un spell sur vous. Attention! Winehouse est mort, encore une fois.

VERDICT

Proper communism

***

5: Spain – ESDM – Contigo Hasta El Final

You’re that light
That crosses the universe
You urge me to fly
With you till the end

What’s it about?
Communist superaliens, our invincible future allies.

pd-posadist small

Sounds like:
Sarah MacLachlan after a heady cocktail of fizzy drinks and Workers’ Girder back issues. Takes a while to get going mind, 1 minute 20 seconds to be exact.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

***

11: Germany – Cascada – Glorious

We are young and hard and we’re free
The world is ours
I can feel the music in me
Glorious

What’s it about?
Official battle hymn of Proletarian Democracy’s badass youth wing – Proletarian Democracy Juniors. Scarface/La Haine reference and everything.

pd juniors small

Sounds like:
Last year’s “winner” but with at least 15% more communism.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

***

15: United Kingdom – Bonnie Tyler – Believe In Me

What-cha gonna do when your ship is sinking
And you’re crying out for help
And just a seagull’s listening
In the dark of the night in the middle of the fight
When you’re reaching out for something and there’s nothing

What’s it about?
Blistering bit of scabshaming by one of pop‘s most prominent IWWers. From the early 70’s until the illegal dismantling of the anti-fascist protective barrier in ’89, comrade Tyler and compatriot and ex-CPGB member Shaking Stevens were friends to the whole gamut of Latin America‘s leftist guerilla milieu; smuggling weapons and cash in, and sneaking injured comrades and evidence of dictatorship atrocities out. Rumour has it that a hundred or so spiky blonde wigged, high heeled Sendero Luminoso Tyleristas still totter about the Andes, their chiffon military fatigues now hardly more than rags. They are literally holding out for a hero.

Sounds like:

Billy Bragg on a chardonnay downer., humming Prince’s I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

***

16: Sweden – Robin Stjernberg – You

It’s all because of you
All because of you
I know that if the sky would fall
I’d survive it all because of you

What’s it about?
A phosphorescent tribute to the compañeros y compañeras building Stroud’s replica of  ‘Nam’s gigantic Cu Chi tunnel complex.

PD cu chi

Sounds like:
An eviscerated Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. No foolin’.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

***

23: Italy – Marco Mengoni – The Essential

As the world falls into pieces
I craft new spaces and needs
That belong to you too
You, whom I believe to be the ESSENTIAL

What’s it about?
The squatting and transformation of a recently vacated shoe shop into a convergence centre and hub of resistance to big capital. Reiki cleansings, gender neutral burlesque classes, Tibetan singing bowls, vegan goo “café”, and whopping “here‘s to the crazy ones” mural on the wall. The lot. Progressive stack rules and convoluted wiggly hands lexicon as last line of defence against povs and miscellaneous undesirables who don‘t even know what intersectionality is lol.

Sounds like:
Someone doing communism really really wrong.

VERDICT

CommunISNT

***

2: Lithuania – Andrius Pojavis
Radical cobblers
3: Moldova – Aliona Moon – O Mie
Post-revolutionary justice.
4: Finland – Krista Siegfrids – Marry Me
Radfem agitprop/Thatcher death party hymn.
6: Belgium – Roberto Bellarosa – Love Kills
Lack of revolutionary spirit.
7: Estonia – Birgit Õigemeel – Et Uus Saaks Alguse
The joy of entryism.
8: Belarus – Alyona Lanskaya – Solayoh
Proletarian revolution.
9: Malta – Gianluca – Tomorrow
Infiltration and intelligence gathering.
10: Russia – Dina Garipova – What If
Class solidarity.
12: Armenia – Dorians – Lonely Planet
Proletarian revolution.
13: The Netherlands – Anouk – Birds
Revolutionary justice.
14: Romania – Cezar – It’s My Life
Chuckle Theory.
17: Hungary – ByeAlex – Kedvesem
The Workers’ Bomb.
18: Denmark – Emmelie de Forest – Only Teardrops
Sectarianism.
19: Iceland – Eythor Ingi – I Am Alive
Proletarian indefatigability.
20: Azerbaijan – Farid Mammadov – Hold Me
Revolutionary aftertiming.
21: Greece – Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis – Alcohol Is Free
Anti-“austerity”.
22: Ukraine – Zlata Ognevich – Gravity
Proletarian revolution.
24: Norway – Margaret Berger – I Feed You My Love
Revolutionary discipline.
25: Georgia – Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani – Waterfall
Chuckle Theory.
26: Ireland – Ryan Dolan – Only Love Survives
The Workers’ Bomb.

***

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About proletariandemocracy

Proper Space Communism With Extreme Predge.
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